Sunday has always been a day of recovery in my household. It was a day that mum would spend putting the loads of washing on, hoovering and mopping, ensuring uniforms were ironed and that lunch monies were ready and set out. I never really understood her compulsion with her Sunday routine, but now that I’m older and in my own home I find myself falling in to the same pattern.
My Sundays now set me up for the week. It’s now often spent ensuring my planning is done for work and cleaning the house before settling in for a long bubbly bath. I think spending my Sundays this way helps ease my anxiety. In ensuring my planning is done I tend to spend less time in the evening panicking about work that week. Cleaning the house allows me more time throughout the week to spend with my partner or/and catching up on marking and the bath? Well that’s just for me.
I’ve seen some self care Sunday posts previously and they stress the importance of relaxing and just looking after yourself for that day. I think it’s important to recognise that some people can’t just ‘relax’ for a day. I struggle with this big time. I drive my partner crazy with it. I am one of those people who can’t just sit on the settee and watch TV or listen to music. I need a book, or a home improvement job, my bullet journal, anything. Anything that keeps my mind and hands busy.
This Sunday has been a busy one. I’ve deep cleaned the bedroom, kitchen, living room and bathroom following Mrs Hinch’s tips. My parents popped over with the dog too and the food shop was done. It’s so much easier to do the food shop with your own car and I’m so happy now I’m back in the driving seat. Finally, I’m settling in to bed, after my bubbly bath, with the rest of Mrs Hinch’s book. Despite being a busy one, this was exactly what I needed. New week? Come at me!
This past week I’ve struggled. Really struggled. Sleep evades me and my emotions are here, there and everywhere. I feel I need to do something and the attitude of gratitude seems the way to go. Why? I think I need to start realising what I have and not what I’ve ‘lost’. I’m getting so wrapped up in my own head that the little things that are happening (despite still being housebound) are just passing me by and soon I know where I’ll end up. I know I’ll start falling in the black hole and I can’t let that happen.
Attitude of Gratitude
Having an attitude of gratitude is developing a habit of expressing thanks and gratefulness. It’s an appreciation of the things happening in your life, both big and small.
“If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more.”
Howes
21:60:90
It’s said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit but it actually takes between 60 and 90 days to form it properly in a way that it becomes a permanent change. 60 days often marks the change in your lifestyle whilst 90 days marks your permanent change.
My commitment
Using the theory above, I’m committing to the attitude of gratitude by ensuring I stick to it everyday for ninety days. In my (strange but hopefully logical) head, by the time the 90 days is up I would no longer need to write and log my attitude of gratitude but who knows? I might end up enjoying it and stick with it. Every day I’ll be listing 3 things I am grateful for, big or small, starting this evening.
“And she led him to the sturdy tree trunk, both of them under a spell, a cloud of summer nights and dancing and laughter and music.”
A Very Distant Shore by Jenny Colgan
Blurb
Wanted: doctor for small island. Must like boats, the seaside and having no hope of keeping a secret…
Lorna lives on the tiny Scottish island of Mure, a peaceful place where everyone helps their neighbour. But the local GP is retiring, and nobody wants his job. Mure is too small and too remote.
Far away, in a crowded camp, Saif is treating a little boy with a badly-cut hand. Saif is a refugee, but he’s also a doctor: exactly what Mure needs.
Saif is welcome in Mure, but can he forget his past? Over one summer, Saif will find a place to call home, and Lorna’s life will change forever.
I read this book following my reading of The Summer Seaside Kitchen as I’d enjoyed it so much. This book centres on two of the characters taken from the Seaside Kitchen’s location of Mure. I love the idea of this place, greenery, shorelines and the real ‘community’ feel that I suspect lies amongst us somewhere. We all want to know our neighbours secrets!
First things first, I loved the idea of this storyline. This was something I hadn’t read in the context of chick lit style novel. Saif is brought to the island of Mure as a refugee doctor and is set to work as the island’s new GP. Across his line of work he deals with Lorna, the local headmistress’ father.
There is a spark between Lorna and Saif, found amongst the early hour walks across the shoreline, and the book begins to explore this budding romance. Of course, this is a quick read and so we don’t really get to delve far enough into the relationship or characters for my liking. Despite this I really enjoyed the storyline and Jenny Colgan’s writing. I would definitely recommend as a quick and easy read – but perhaps read it before Summer Seaside Kitchen.
hiraeth (n): a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home that maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for lost places in your past
The Summer Seaside Kitchen by Jenny Colgan
Blurb
Years ago, Flora fled the quiet Scottish island where she grew up — and she hasn’t looked back. What would she have done on Mure? It’s a place where everyone has known her all her life, where no one will let her forget the past. In bright, bustling London, she can be anonymous, ambitious… and hopelessly in love with her boss.
But when fate brings Flora back to the island, she’s suddenly swept once more into life with her brothers — all strapping, loud, and seemingly incapable of basic housework — and her father. Yet even amid the chaos of their reunion, Flora discovers a passion for cooking — and find herself restoring dusty little pink-fronted shop on the harbour: a café by the sea.
But with the seasons changing, Flora must come to terms with past mistakes — and work out exactly where her future lies…
Firth things first, the location of this book sounds idyllic. Mure, a beautiful, rustic Scottish Isle, is what I picture when I think of the traditional Scottish communities. (I say in the least stereotypical manner).
As part of her work as a paralegal, Flora is forced to return to her hometown, somewhere she hasn’t been since the death of her mother causing the occupants of Mure to hold some serious grudges.
She returns, her crush worthy yet unfriendly boss in tow, to the isle and is greeted rather icilly by her family (all strapping, loud and seemingly incapable of basic housework). Soon, she falls in to a routine her mum once would have routinely carried out. She helps out the wealthy client and soon finds herself running a pop up kitchen alongside her brother, a character you can’t help but fall in love with.
Somewhat predictably, we watch as Flora introduces Joel to life on Mure and he soon becomes enveloped in her – and it’s – charm.
I fell in love with this tale – hence my quick reading of A Distant Shore to discover even more character on the Isle of Mure. The location is a dream – it’s a place I’d long to escape to. In all honesty, I think I preferred reading the relationships between brother and sister, father and daughter more so than the budding romance between Flora and Joel. There was something lovely in Flora realising her mistakes and seeing her family, her brothers in particular, for more than the predictable stereotypical farming boys of her youth.
My only criticism of the book is the ‘quick’ character development of Joel but it’s not something that caused me to put the book down!
The tale was everything I needed today. A heartwarming tale of family and love set in a beautiful location.
“The way my luck is at the moment,” said Polly, “I probably will get a tiny bit of money back, and as I leave the bank after picking it up, a bolt of lightning will come out of the sky and set it on fire. Then a piano will fall on my head and knock me down a manhole.”
Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan
Blurb
Amid the ruins of her latest relationship, Polly Waterford moves far away to the sleepy seaside resort of Polbearne, where she lives in a small, lonely flat above an abandoned shop.
To distract her from her troubles, Polly throws herself into her favorite hobby: making bread. But her relaxing weekend diversion quickly develops into a passion. As she pours her emotions into kneading and pounding the dough, each loaf becomes better than the last. Soon, Polly is working her magic with nuts and seeds, olives and chorizo, and the local honey-courtesy of a handsome local beekeeper. Drawing on reserves of determination and creativity Polly never knew she had, she bakes and bakes . . . and discovers a bright new life where she least expected it.
Following my style analysis (see previous post) I sent off for some of the make up advised in the guide as well as some other purchases.
Palette
I’ve used the obsession range for a while and already had a small palette I’d filled myself. Ended up purchasing the larger palette so I can carry everything in one palette rather than the two. Taking on board the advice given in the guide, I’ve opted for a blush in a bronzier shade and and a more golden palette with regards to contouring and highlighting. Lip shades also slightly more coral than normal choices. This cost me roughly £8, including the palette. Alongside the inserts I already owned, the palette now contains all my contouring, 3 shades lip ‘stain’, brow powder and 3 shades eyeshadow. So much easier but highly doubt it will mean my dressing table will be any less messier.
Foundation and Base
I’ve worn Estee Lauder double wear for a few years now and for the time being plan on sticking with it.However, it was advised in the guide to try using a stippling brush to apply it. So here we go. Looking forward to trying it, if you have any tips please let me know.
Picked up a ‘bronzier’ shade of baking powder too as the one I purchased recently was slightly ‘peachy’ giving me a pink tone which I really disliked. Also purchased a camouflage green and lilac to help sort the recovery dark circles and rosacea. I’ve trialled on the back of my hand and they seem quite thick in terms of coverage and blended well – so fingers crossed!
Eyeshadow
This was one of the recommended palettes and the pigment is amazing!! Just gave a few dabs to the back of my hand and they are super vivid – I seriously can’t wait to try these out.
Thoughts
Honestly, if you haven’t tried revolution make up before I highly recommend! This isn’t my first order and it certainly won’t be the last.
If you had seen my previous post, you’d have seen that I purchased a style analysis by Susie Hasler and her company Styled by Susie. It arrived whilst I was in hospital but I’ve finally had a chance to nosy on through it.
Why a style analysis?
If you have seen my mental health awareness week post, based on body image, you’ll have read how much I enjoyed following Susie on facebook and insta. This is because she is all about dressing for you. I get how having a style analysis whilst stating that my body is my own to love is slightly hypocritical so I feel I need to explain.
I need to start loving my body and it hasn’t been an easy ride the past twenty seven years and I’m still not certain I like it. The style anlaysis gives me an overview on what clothing style, cut and colour is most suited to my body type. I think seeing myself in clothing ‘deemed’ suitable for me should start to allow me to actually like what I see, and let’s face it I have to start somewhere!
Initial Reaction
Susie was so complimentary! I felt like she really took the time to ready my questionnaire and my worries etc. I’d mentioned how work clothes had been an issue recently for me and she’s specifically advised items of clothing that could help me there. She also took time to look at a collage of clothing I’d felt happiest in from last year and explained how these outfits worked for me. I felt really at ease before I’d even opened the attached pdf!
My Shape and Season
I am officially a Spring Apple.
An apple tends to carry more weight on tummy and waist (which I do) and has a less defined waist (also, something I’m aware of). I’ve had a capsule wardrobe and body shape analysis which gives me an in-depth look at what cut clothing, in particular necklines etc, that suit me. Some of which I think I was already aware of and so it’s good to know I was on the right track.
Spring colouring was a complete surprise to me! I was sure I was summer or winter as I thought I had cool undertones, but Susie took a good look at my bare face in natural light and… I’m Spring! It’s quite exciting taking a look at my colour palette and seeing some bright colours that I normally wouldn’t bother looking at. I also received a make up guide with this pack too. I’d never really been happy in the dark tones of lipsticks I’d been using and now I realise why!
Where to begin?
I started by reading all the documents and, if I’m honest, felt slightly overwhelmed. It’s an awful lot to take in. I thought it best to start with make up – mainly because I really enjoy trying new make up.
Over the weekend I placed an order with Revolution Beauty. I started with ordering a new shade of setting powder as my current one is slightly ‘orange’. It was also advised to use a stippling brush to apply foundation so I added that too. I was then surprised to see one of the advised eyeshadow palettes for only £6 so added that to my basket along with some ‘other’ things.
I also placed a few orders at ebay for some jewellery – Susie is big on accessorising. Bagged myself a leopard print scarf, some tortoise shell bits and a long necklace or two. If there’s any of the items you like below, just comment and I’m happy to share the seller’s link.
What next?
My plan now is to reread my body shape analysis along with the Basic Bitches guide I purchased and make a list (because let’s face it – I love a list!) I’m hoping to then use this to help me out when I head out for a big shop once I’m feeling better and up to spending a few hours out.
Was it worth it?
Somebody asked me if the £40 was really worth it for a few pdfs. For me? Yes it was. I’m excited by the new bits and bobs I’ve already purchased and I’m also excited to head out clothes shopping – something I haven’t been excited for in years! I think it’s given me a bit of my mojo back and for that £40 was a steal!
“One of the best coping mechanisms I’ve developed over the last couple of years has been this: just pausing and taking time to appreciate the way the world is at that exact moment, rather than fretting about a future I can’t control or predict.”
Sunshine at the Comfort Food Café by Debbie Johnson
Blurb
Perched on a windswept cliff on the stunning Dorset coast at what feels like the edge of the world, the café and its warm-hearted community are a haven for lost souls who happen to wander by with a heavy heart and a story to tell.
Serving up the most delicious cream teas; beautifully baked breads, and carefully crafted cupcakes, there’s nothing a cup of tea and a delicious treat won’t fix. For tourists and locals alike, the ramshackle cafe overlooking the beach is a beacon of laughter, companionship, and security – a place like no other; a place that offers friendship as a daily special, and where a hearty welcome is always on the menu.
So make yourself at home, catch up on the gossip with old friends, meet new ones and fall in love at the Comfort Food Café.
I instantly fell in love with Willow. She has such an ‘attitude of gratitude’ for the most simplest things and I really am looking to adopt this attitude following recent experiences.
A waitress at the Comfort Food Cafe, Willow hasn’t had the most conventional of upbringings. She finds herself to be the lone sibling at home caring for her yoga loving and young at heart mum, Lynnie. Not only working at the cafe, she also runs her own business cleaning in the local area.
It’s one of these cleaning jobs that lands her back at the House on the Hill. There she stumbles upon Tom Mulligan, who she first thinks is Edward Cullen rising from the lake. You can’t help but love him. A good looking, obviously, socially awkward and ‘poorly’ dressed lad who hasn’t experienced the easiest of childhoods. He finds himself sitting on a decent amount of money following his ‘flange bracket’ (God you’ll love Lynnie) and is now the proud owner of the House on the Hill.
Willow, with her charisma, charm, unapologetic wit and nosiness, soon has Tom joining the community, albeit slightly awkwardly. I adored the quick ‘banter’ between this pairing as well as Willow’s sheer unpredictable thoughts, decision and fashion choices.
I decided to wear an entire dress made out of shiny silver material, because I was in a reflective mood.”
Don’t be fooled in to thinking this is solely focused on the relationship between Tom and Willow. We see the relationship between mum and daughter deteriorate in ways only Alzheimer’s can cause but also get to enjoy the sheer joy in the moments where Willow and Lynnie are simply mum and daughter again. Siblings, who long left home in search for their own adventures also return and we see how Willow is forced to begin to relinquish her protective role and allow herself to ask for help. It’s this that allows her to finally make time for her own life and in doing so make room for Tom.
On beginning this book, I had no idea that in fact the characters of the Comfort Food Cafe had been explored previously. This book is part of a series and following my reading I’m hoping to purchase the other books and catch up on all the characters of the cafe.
Over here in the UK we are currently amidst Mental Health Awareness Week.
Hosted by the Mental Health Foundation, Mental Health Awareness Week takes place from 13-19 May 2019. The theme this year is Body Image – how we think and feel about our bodies. Body image issues can affect all of us at any age. During the week we are publishing new research and campaigning for change. #BeBodyKind
Mental Health Foundation
Finding your feet in your own skin.
I’m sure we’ve all seen an image similar to that of above. These illustrations, quotes, videos and images are often seen plastered everywhere in hopes that this is enough encouragement for women and younger girls alike to feel comfortable in their own body shape and skin. If only it was this easy, eh?
Whilst these images are thoughtful and encouraging, they fall flat amongst the world we currently find ourselves in. A world where photoshopping still remains rife, where beautiful women are airbrushed to hide the details which should in fact make them proud of their own bodies. It’s a world where make up allows us to totally transform our identities, where celebrities are slaughtered for gaining a mere ten pounds in weight and a world where 53% of us think that we need to alter our online life to suit the people we communicate with.
Despite my words, I am not one of these loud and proud body confident women. Oh how I wish I was! I wish I had the confidence to throw caution to the wind and wear a skirt that shows a roll or two, or a bikini revealing the overweight stretch-mark tarred tummy beneath it – but I don’t. I’m realistic. I know my body type isn’t something a young girl wishes for as she ages, it isn’t one men will drool over as I walk the shoreline on my next holiday but soon I hope that I’ll happy with saying that. My body isn’t for anyone else. It’s for me.
How do we see change?
I don’t claim to have all these answers. I’m not sure. The recent changes in shopping online, whereby real models are used with what we hope is no airbrushing, is promising. Take this article for example.
People are thanking ASOS for showing a model’s stomach rolls
Metro UK
Yes, it’s great. It’s lovely seeing the model in her own actual skin. But should I be thanking the company for it? Not really. Everywhere I look I should see real women. I expect them to have rolls, scars, freckles, love handles and so forth. I think the ‘thanking’ of this company, despite my adoration of them for actually doing it, is still sending the wrong message. This should be the norm. This should be what I see every time I shop online.
Media, the glossy mags and crumpled papers, have a lot to answer for. Take a look at some of the covers below, let’s consider what some of my initial thoughts would have been.
“10lbs in 10 days!”
Brilliant, I weigh more than Jessica Simpson did at the beginning – which means I probably need to go on that diet for 50 days.
“Extreme plan to be sexy again”
Well I thought I was sexy when I ordered new lingerie the other week – clearly I need to be doing more.
Best and WORST beach bodies.
Well it’s saying something when the worst beach bodies are what I dream of getting to.
There’s so much work that needs to be done on the media’s wording and presenting of issues. Can you imagine being one of those celebrities found in the worst beach bodies section? I don’t think I’d ever show anyone my body again, and all because I wanted to spend time at the sea in the sun. It’s completely uncalled for.
Choosing your influencers
This is where I think it’s important to begin to take a look at who your influencers are. I don’t mean the people you surround yourself with, I’ll get to this in a moment, but those people you follow online, the celebrities you catch glimpses and long to be like. It takes a lot of effort to look at your influencers and it’s vital that you take something as simple as following them on instagram seriously. Are they going to just post crop top pics with a vegan shake? Brilliant – if that what your lifestyle is or needs! For me – it isn’t! I decided I needed people who were confident in their body, be they a size 0 or 24, and who expressed their love of body confidence. Some major names who are pushing for body confidence amongst all include BodyPosiPanda, NadiaAboulhosn, TessHoliday and a brand I love following is SwimsuitsForAll. These are just some of the huge influencers out there who are rooting for us. A lady I most definitely have to mention here to is Susie Hasler. A personal stylist who’s realistic in her approach. She’s all about facing the fear and dressing for you. Dressing for your body and it’s glorious shape. If you’d like to know more about this, you should totally check out my recent post.
Your inner circle
It’s also the people you surround yourself with. I have never felt more confident in my body than I have with my boyfriend in the past two and half years I’ve been with him. Despite the many influencers who claim that your worth shouldn’t be based on what others (including partners) think of you, I strongly believe that when you find that person – the other half – there is nothing more important than having them love your body. It wasn’t until I realised that someone else could love it, that I even began thinking about liking it myself. Soon you realise, that if your inner circle love you as you are – why can’t you?
Simply Kelly 